What NOT to Say at Work

My unit is getting a new supervisor tomorrow. I’m compiling this helpful list both as a caution to others and as a way to remind myself to keep my, er, quirks in check until my new boss gets to know me a bit better. In order to make a good first impression, I’m reminding myself not to say things such as the following:

“I think it’s just the hangover.”

I said this to my (soon-to-be former) boss when she inquired as to whether my migraine was going away. What I meant, of course, was that my migraine was mostly gone, but that I was experiencing the oh-so-lovely migraine hangover. I quickly amended my statement with, “MIGRAINE HANGOVER! MIGRAINE HANGOVER!!” Thankfully, she has a good sense of humor and knows me well enough to know that I was not, in fact, telling her I’d come in to work late because I was hung over.

“I’m just talking to my Jane Austen action figure.”

Due to the new supervisor joining us, we’re doing some remodeling. This includes a new tall filing cabinet next to my cubicle (yes, I’m lucky enough to be neighbors with the new boss), meaning I will have to remove the decorations on that cubicle wall. One of those decorations is a Jane Austen action figure. (Yes, such a thing exists. Yes, a quill pen totally counts as a weapon. Yes, I am enough of a geek to think it is awesome.) I went to take it off the wall just now, and said, “Okay, Jane, we’re going to have to find a new home for you.” A nearby coworker asked what I said, and I replied, “I’m just talking to my….never mind. I probably shouldn’t say things like that,” causing much laughter. Really, Lisa, don’t announce that you talk to inanimate objects like that, especially not in a tone that implies you find it completely normal.

This post is brought to you by the letter F, for “filter,” something I should do with my thoughts before they become spoken words. However, as Phoebe says, “There isn’t always time!”